Waking day.

Each waking day is another day I tell myself it's okay.

Bad.

I never wanted something so bad.
Bernini found it on the net.

Gave it to me. *Thankew pirate arr lol*.

And now I want it MORE.

ARGH.

Indie like anything in the world!

I hope Singapore has it.

Walking Advertisement.

With no offence to Monash Malaysia (and the fact that they're the ones making me 30 bucks richer by employing me as a student helper yesterday during the open day), I found it difficult to wholeheartedly promote 'journalism' as a major because of a pretty obvious lacking.

I was in charge of the Journalism Lab with another girl. We both feel the pride in arts, we were really keen to watch the gleaming eyes of the unsuspecting 'victim' of Freud and Foucault. LOL. There were a couple, which was good. BUT Of course, there's also a couple of kids who were skeptical about the Arts. They take a peek in the room and don't even step in to hear what we have to say. Some families who leave halfway during the session and well, is Arts really at the bottom of the heap? For those who weren't interested, we still promoted our cool subjects as an elective. Come try our subjects and die and see if you think it's 'easy'. nyehehe.

On my part, I thought it was difficult to promote something that someone had a vague idea on. So half way through everything I say seemed scripted and insincere or I run out of things to say... Bleah. I liked watching those kids go gawk excitedly at what we do though. And some parents who were impressed with what we learnt. There was one mother and another family who was very accommodating. Eee. Nice people DO exist!

But it was at lunch, when I randomly met a peer who suddenly brought up the topic about Gippsland, with a look almost close to 'dread' on his face, which I have to admit, I had before going to Gippsland. Munching my food half way I thought to myself. "omg what are you talking about! Gippsland is awesome!" and whatever I enthused after that literally gave me a body lift, if not my body at least the corners of my mouth. In a split second, I become a walking Gippy advertisement. Gippsland should pay me. :)

I miss Gippsland still. The long vline train rides and the scenery. Unlike the Melbourne city or Malaysia, I left Gippsland wondering when I will come back. Because of it so far off and once the people I've got to know has left, will I ever have a reason to return to the little cow country town of Churchill?

Dawning.

Those 20 minutes plus never seem to want to end. Today, it FINALLY dawned upon me.

Triple that.

imagine what you are doing now - just triple that... - YSG.


Omgeee.

World in front of me.

Feel this.

Go to http://www.myspace.com/kinagrannis

Other feel good songs.




Courtesy of Alex.



Yep, loop it to ease your nerves people.

I think

HOOOOKAY. I was INCREDIBLY chilled when people are stressed. It suddenly dawned upon me that I WILL BE PRESENTING IN FRONT OF

an anthropologist
a feminist
a literature critic
a film critic
a political scientist
no make it two, only difference is the second one is a professor.
and like a couple of others who are great in journalism, international studies.

It's not that I can't count I just don't want to. This is possibly the first hurdle, I consider my first hurdle, in Honours.

As you can tell, YES. I AM OVERSPILLING.

People get it. I don't get why I need to reiterate it all over again. People who know me well enough know inside this little bubble is not air. It's volatile and once it pops, something nasty creeps out. Which I find really disgusting sometimes. I'm either uptight and really occupied with my conscience. But when I loosen up, it seems like I lose my conscience.

I have a habit of randomly over-spilling because I don't express myself very well. It took me long enough to just eff the whole thing and just get out there and DO something instead of being stuck in that bubble which I'm comfortable in.

I really do miss that bubble. Right now, I'm just not being something I am.

At times, I feel like I'm being pushed to the corner. Only adjusting to that corner only adjusting because I'm forced to. I'm so bent on sucking everything in I can't find the right balance. There's going to be a point when I can't take the pressure, I make decisions I regret.

But it's too late now right to say things like that?

Hormones talking. I'm reconsidering this. I know I say even if this kills me I won't give up. Now I am thinking. "How did I end up here?" Did I take the getting-out-of-comfort-zone-agenda the wrong way? Or did I do this just to stay in my comfort zone because of my irrational fear of office politics. The irony.

But it's too late right? Wednesday is just 4 days away.

Don't know why I didn't come.

They say it's easier to like people you don't know.

Hope.

Hope is a waking dream - Aristotle.

Little Miss Whoops.

My blunders only get funnier.

For the first time.

For the first time today, I heard someone's life story and actually felt tears brimming in my eyes.

Such a strange and emotional day for us. Ugh.

*

When we we inebriated-

We talked about

1. the past.
2. the possibility of my current muse being gay. (lol)
3. more on the past.
4. moments of impulsion. Which for a split second I would've totally given into IF I HAD ACCESS TO FACEBOOK. (Technology sucks).
5. Independence and love.

Even if the course is only going to last for one year, it's pretty unforgettable.

My shoepig.

From this.




To this.



:)

Longest.

This has been the longest time (4days lol) I have not updated since starting honours. As you can tell, things have been rather unlucky for me lately. But I am blogging to say my unlucky spells are OVER.

I just need to be more alert and all these unlucky nonsense will go away.

It's difficult to have something lost or broken especially when it has sentimental value. I have a hard time letting things go until I'm in the station and something instinctively tells me 'no you're not going to find it back'. Which after my ordeal to Putrajaya and back, I am more and more accepting of it.

Things haven't been all that unlucky even. I had friends who followed me to the respective offices knowing

1. My hate for them gov offices/police stations.
2. My noob-ness with KL roads.

Just thinking about what was coming made me dread the week. But now that I have renewed/remade whatever that need to be recovered. I can finally move on in life.

What I lost isn't worth as much compared to what I had inside. :(

But after this, I realized I didn't need it as much.

And even if I can't get it back again, it wouldn't stop reminding me about the times I've spent collecting those things I lost.

Limbo.

Despite being slightly inebriated at Sid's today. I remember I was told.

"You people have the obligation to stay in Malaysia."

I said, I will if you become Prime Minister.

What's gonna happen after Honours? Feels like third year again.

Losing it. Lost.

Ok. It's not everything so don't mope. DON'T. I FORBID YOU SZE TO MOPE.

.
.
.

Okay, if i can brave the rain, I can also brave the lengthy journey back from Tokio. Tokio Hotel's front man is INCREDIBLy smexyE. Someone new to objectify. Good show. Good gig. Great showmanship. Local acts are improving. Tokio Hotel so much better live. Seriously left me wanting more. They encored and Sung Monsoon in German. SUCH A SEXYNAZI. Now I'm just being politically incorrect. LOL.

REALLY REALLY enjoyed the show. One of the best gigs I've been too so far.

Thanks again Minni for the tickets :)