Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm not sure if it's a good idea to put posters like that in the Honours room. But since non of us are suicidal yet, it should be ok.

*cuts ribbons*


Side note:


Monday, March 29, 2010


There's this talk tmr about Najib and his administration that I have to attend. *gyah*

In the midst of a conversation about it on the way back, I was talking to N, my classmate, that something felt like a few years of oppression in terms of raced-based nationalism in the country. She's awesome, speaks with an American accent and has a thing for french/artsy movies and actually thinks Stewie from family guy is cute, the progressive type, I tend to forget that she's Malay sometimes. Now, I look back at what I have said and can't help but feel insensitive about my comments I've thrown, that I admit, in a way that what a Communications student shouldn't have put it so 'crudely', that there should've been some sophistication in my argument, or at least some objectivity.

I truly, really wish for that utopian 1Malaysia to materialize someday. Really wished that meritocracy cuts across all skin colour, all languages and all Malaysians. No more politicising race. No more corruption. No more corrupts getting away from the law. I don't care if this is wishful thinking, but once in my life, I was ignorant and believed it was supposed to be as it is, without question. Now, I just don't know how long I can live in limbo any longer.

It's only the beginning.

At the back of my head, I hear this really sinister laugh. I'm not sure who was laughing. But there is.





Sunday, March 28, 2010

Literary Theory.

Literary theory is of recent vintage. Since entering the scene after World War II

Facebook: 5 minutes.
msn: 10?
Twitter: 2 minutes.

, it has had a considerable impact on the main concern of the humanities: the interpretation of texts. Intepretation had long been understood as an activity...

Fishville: 10 minutes.

GARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. When will I ever finish reading.


Saturday, March 27, 2010


A friend asked me today, you believe in fate?

I could ramble on forever.

My reply was almost instantaneous.

I only speak for this moment in time, now. Until something in the future comes smacking me in the face to prove otherwise, I don't believe in fate.

See, I used to be a firm believer of this thing called 'fate' and all this romanticized notion of 'true-love'. And that there is only one for you and that one person is out there, and all you have to do is wait for him to appear and you will know it's him when that person sweeps you off your feet.


Unless you think you're living in a Korean drama or a Taylor Swift music video, you can just sit on your butt and settle for someone who is your 'true-love' and credit that to fate - this invisible, all-mighty governing cupid-ish force that brings people together because you have just been systematically brainwashed by (insert age here) years of Disney, sappy love songs (and their really bullpoop music videos), the idiot box, chick flicks, valentine's day cards and romance novels like how I have been before I had my moment of epiphany.

I don't know, but i feel fate doesn't exist on its own. You need to make things happen, your fate lies in your hands and what you make out of it. You wanna call that fate, suit ya self. I call it effort. This whole notion of true love, it doesn't exist out of thin air. Whether two person are suited for each other don't depend on some stupid inscription aka Fate that the big-guy-up there has prepared from the moment of conception. It depends on what these two people are willing to do to adjust to one another in a specific amount of time (which normally, is forever, but of course not always the case for everyone). It depends on what great lengths two people are willing to go to keep the flame burning.

On this note, I'm not saying opposites cannot attract, or people who are similar will have a better chance in lovers for life. Just because Science exist it doesn't mean everything can be measured and predicted. It's more of a trial and error kind of thing. Just go for it. If it doesn't work out, heal. Let go. Try again. It doesn't mean that you've lost the love-of-your-life and your happiness is forever doomed (tchyeah easy for you to say). No seriously. If you stop believing in THE-ONE, and turn to the another-one, another-other one, it'll be a whole lot easier. Don't remain stuck in time for too long. Because age is a bitch. And by the time you realize all you've been chasing for is nothing but a mirage, it might be too late and time is also a bitch because it doesn't wait.

If fate can really bring two people together the most bizarre ways imaginable, (insert typical subway, elevator, escalator going on both opposite directions scene) and because of that it's-a-sign-that-he-is-the-one-even-if-you-don't-know-if-he-smokes-pot-and-raped-a-horse-or-something-dodgy-like-that, whooakay. o.O I'm no expert, but that ain't love man.

That's like... psycho. Or so it occured to me.

Sometimes coincidences are just coincidences, and nothing more.

No official ethnographic work done to prove whatever I said but all this theological humbug about fate and 'the-one-true-love' is crazjee.

People cheat. People fight. People get hurt. People drift apart.

Love isn't pure and simple at all.

Love needs a new definition.

Disney makes it look too fking easy.

This one-true-love thing doesn't exist. One-true-love only exist as a social construct to make sex legit to continue the human race. I'm a skeptic so sue me. I think, it is possible to feel that special connection with more than one person throughout your life. And also, society's to be blamed for people who think otherwise.

But of course, who am I to speak? The closest I've been to love is one that is unrequited.

Friday, March 26, 2010


I am alive and well.

I am alive and well.

There's no real love in you.

Tokio Hotel coming to KL. ZOMG.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Banana Dance.

Free Pizza and extra.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Remember Me (2010)

I think this brings a whole new meaning to life and death. Things we take for granted and things that we do everyday. In many instances in the movie, minus the pace that was too slow for my liking, I felt there was this underlying message they were trying to send out.

That is, at any instance, without warning, you can lose the chance of doing what you have to do in life. And to live life to the fullest and most importantly move on.

Significantly better acting from Robert Pattinson. :)

I wouldn't say it's a love story. I felt there was more to it. It was really thought provoking at some moments, depressing at others. Then happy intervals in between until the almost brutal cinematic end. I like what I saw.

Side note:


Sunday, March 21, 2010

Rain tiptapping against the window.

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me - BJ Thomas. =)

I don't know the words without google, but this tune is looping in my head.


Saturday, March 20, 2010

Yap Ah Loy, Little India and PWTC.

The epitome of Nerding. Book hunting and fieldwork of sorts all in one day.

"The Malaysian Mansion" is actually a hostel-area for migrant workers, particularly of Indian descent. Used to be residential areas for the squatter people in KL in a really distant past.

And we got to see it.


This was probably the highlight apart from the biggggg book exhibition in PWTC. Two words to sum it up crowded and huge.

And I finally got my sundae =D and 2 other ice creams. Ice cream potong and Ice cream roti.

Sore throat brewing. o.O

Friday, March 19, 2010

This came late.

My coursemates. Jacqui far left followed by Natasha, Neneng, Belinda and Marina. Jacqui and Marina happened to be the first few people I spoke to during my first few days in Monash in orientation. X)

Joyce, the person who could balance up the atmosphere with some gilarness, Gippy people with fellow Zeming, Myii, Alva, Andrew and Kanina always up to some thing at the south houses. LOL. Much loves. Awesome company.

Not your average lecturer monash father-figure Dr. Yeoh, someone to look up to and know that I am in good hands.

Alex, the buddy who keeps my feet very firmly to the ground when I'm hovering up there somewhere and made difficult times easier. The one who came when many couldn't to hand me my graduation bear. Thankew. =)

My family, Dad, mum and Sze Wei, the ones who made this all possible. Thank you for your love and support and believing in me when I chose this path.

A non sequitur.

My chancelor looks like Dr. House.

To people who couldn't make it, it doesn't make me love you all any less. HAHA. =)

In lifts, we talk.

In my GND class, I spoke to an Australian exchange student who happened to be in my group discussion. Never caught his name. It was Breen, I think, something along those lines. After class, we went our separate ways only to meet at the main door to building two. We chatted. We both thought the movie aired during the last 45 minutes of class was whack. Lift doors open. I talked about Australia, and what flooded my mind was the fun times I had possibly one of the greatest times and lessons of my life. I found out he was 4th year double majoring in Law and Arts. Lift doors open. Level 5. He steps out.

Deathly silent.

I fall back for a moment.

Doors open. Level 6.

Snapping out of it. I remind myself.

He's serious, black and white, straight with edges.

I un-serious someone with colour and curves.

It's been so many years and I know that.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

那些片段 還在不在.

Monday, March 15, 2010


As many of you all may already know, it's the start of a new semester and my homies have officially parted X( BOO YOU PEOPLE. Heheheh just messing. Waiting patiently for the holidays you people BETTER COME BACK. *violent streak* :)

Myii, Kari, Alvaa + 1 (insignificant lol) in Melbourne. Sonia's in Perth. Zem's in Kepong and Alex in Shah Alam which are just dandy. My boat-people (since we're all in the same boat fighting the Homi Bhabha storm at sea lol) are super which leaves me pretty occupied on and offline. Heh heh. With people around, I know entertainment is just a phone call away =)

I know I've been complaining a lot, sinking a bit and yada yada about my little 'plight' in most of my previous posts but I'd be honest, I'm really getting the whole independent vibe now. It isn't all that bad.

It's actually pretty good because there are thing that you will see, certain things that your attention suddenly become more focused upon when you are on your own. So I'm going to list out ten things of what I like about now.

1. Own Crib.

I'm really loving this new crib. I'm currently staying at a low-rise apartment-ish area near Damansara Jaya. The access routes are great. Unlike Subang, it's quieter and spacious, since it's far off from dense student populated areas. I like personal space and silence. It gives me enough to keep myself sane from the workload I'm expecting this semester. Of course, the first few days when I lived on my own here it felt abit empty, but I live with a distant cousin now (she owns the place), so short conversations at night really makes a difference.

2. Food.

Cooking's an issue but I still try to as much as I can. There's only this amount of MSG one can take before signs begin to show on the scalp. LOL. So, I've been experimenting pasta recipes and such. Even though I'm sick of pasta, I quite like being able to choose what and when to eat and whether to eat or not. Choices at home are limited really. We don't eat out often and my maid doesn't know how to cook like western dishes and what... japanese dishes? Also, I seem to be the only one in the world who likes subway. LOL. So this wins. Home cooked food is awesome really. I always eat at home when I have the chance to. However, since it's for a family, like I rarely get to decide when to eat. It breaks my daily momentum sometimes and being late at the dinner table for a middle-class chinese family is rude so... yeah. I become rude sometimes :S. Another thing is being able to skip meals! HAHA THE JOY! I hope my mother doesn't see this. But I don't skip often coz there's always this nagging voice behind my head that tells me I shouldn't. Often, I give in. :/

3. Reading.

I consider myself more of an interactive-type of person. While I like having my alone-time, too much becomes difficult to handle. You know, the amount of time I spend interacting now is really the opposite of me and my 'busy' schedule during the holidays. LOL. It's great to hang out with friends and I learn to appreciate that, and a whole lot of other things I had along the way. I grew to depend on books to fill my time. Not exactly the 'books' I'm required to read though, I know I shouldn't avoid it but I will now when I can. HAHA. People who know me well enough, (or my attention-span rather) knows I always stop reading a novel halfway or simply take too long to finish. Reading just wasn't my thing last time and I rarely had time for this kind of leisurely reading hehe. My new hide out in malls is bookshops. Because it's quiet and it kills time (coz I'm cheap and i like to leech off free air-con and couches oww my poor legs). At times when I'm done it's too early to go home, MPH the next best thing.

4. Shopping.

Oh hell. It's not supposed to happen. Most of the days I just stay home but if there is ever an urge for me to go out and indulge... LOL. YES. I indulge. Like today. (regret) Super poor now. I bought a pair of heels on discount, 3 books from popular on discount tooo~ and a checkered collared shirt from forever 21 (IWISHEDTHEYGAVEMEDISCOUNT). Did that all under 3 hours. LIKE WHOA. I should switch my debit card to a normal atm card. o.O Maggi for the rest of the week. *tightens belt*

5. Friends.

By far, meeting new people and getting acquainted with old ones is what I haven't been doing in a while. That extra step taken to say hi isn't like slaying the Bandersnatch HEH HEH ALICE IN WONDERLAND FTW but it is pretty noble if you knew what the person feels at the receiving end. See. I didn't know much about this until here I am today. =)



Car in need of car wash because of alternative parking zones. Monash dirtied my baby. Angreee.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Recipe for disaster.

There are times I have verbal diarrhea and other times I become verbally constipated. And so, politics is not for me.

Been doing Fiske, and he mentions Bourdieu. Now I really see that my initial research is flawed as hell. Kinda get why I can only come up with a proper research question after doing this. Whatever I came out with prior to that seems so narrow now.

First Honours assignment dateline drawing closer. Early April is 2 weeks away. :S



Friday, March 12, 2010

The remains of the day.

Like the book,

to move on with the little left of my life after my decision to pursue when it had already been too late is

harder than

to move on with decades of my life knowing at least I tried.

I have funky grammar so sue me.

Yeh. Next up, Murakami.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


I don't FEEEEEEL like a Monash graduate.

Can't get anymore personal than that.

You remember those role-playing games you play. You roll up an A4 paper and tie it with a ribbon, tie a blanket around your neck like a cape/robe. No hat but it doesn't matter. You make your walk up the stairs and proud and all, mimicking what you see on the Brands' essense of Chicken or Milo adverts. LOL.

Those were the kind of ads that romanticised the whole 'mother' tears when child graduates thing. But I don't FEEEEEEL it. Don't get me wrong, my parents are proud of me and all that. But I don't feel like this is, as far as it goes, the proudest moment of my life. That this is actually the start of something that I potentially might like, but still have no clue of.

I know part of the reason why my graduation didn't seem like anything at all I expected as a kid, is because I have class at 9.00am today. X( BOOO @ Timing. LOL. But after catching up with my friends for a while, I realized there a number of them who are already working, and a number of those who are looking for work.

I wonder, what does it feel like to be them?

For me, the ceremony yesterday felt a lot more 'real'. Of course we can question 'realness', like it's happening, at this moment, at this very second I get 5 seconds on stage to take a piece of paper I worked hard for.

As soon as took off my robe, it's symbolic in a sense that, I'm no longer an undergrad student. I'm being thrust into this whole of set of responsibilities (which I actually 'failed' to fulfill today bummer).

It's like. No more running around the house naked or in a robe with a rolled up A4 paper in your hand. You gotta get out there. And be a somebody. Not just a graduate.

Friday, March 05, 2010


Dogs are funny.

They lick their nose and they even lick their butt.

They lick their bodies and can't stop if they start.

Puppies are cute when they don't bite.

But once they become dogs,

they learn to fight.

bite shoes.

So they're often kept away.

Dogs can find another chew toy anyway. ;)

Some dogs are living in packs

and some dogs live on their own.

Some dogs live in a nice cozy home.

But some feel locked up in a cage

With no master to hold.

While some are set free, abandoned and thrown.

There are happy dogs,

and dogs that don't feel.

Lucky ones and those who will never know if their emptiness will be filled.

Good for those that are spoilt by a good master.

Good for those with food, family and a home.

Praise those in the wild who survive another day on their own.

The rule of nature was never complicated.

To live is to have the will to live.

and even more will to not let your life be wasted.

Its simple.

Dogs are so funny.

Dogs are what we need to think about

When we are sad and whiny. =) - Sze.

Honours year making me feel very literary. But this is so third grade. =.= Never mind. Not shy about my third grade brain.

To focus list:

Finish presentation by today.
Start bibliography tomorrow.
Critical review finish by Sunday before Family comes.

To do list.

Bring family to Kayu on Monday.
Shop for graduation outfit soon.

To buy list.

Cotton Bud.


Wednesday, March 03, 2010


I'm tyre changing fabulous person.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010


Primary school comfort food. :)

Day 2,

I'm starting to get dreams of Dr Yeoh piling on work.


And when I woke up this morning, it came true. =____________= HAHAHAHAHHA WEIRD OK.

Honours year is getting me.

Apart from that, Ikea Meatballs is LOVE. Not mash today :/. BOO. But apparently in Swedish,this thing is called köttbullar. Ugh. I would've gotten frozen ones if I had a freezer LOL.


Other words you can't put into action.

Monday, March 01, 2010

First class.

I had my first class today. Apparently the number of honour students this year is the highest by far so it is really really comforting to know that I'm not alone in this uphill battle with... hmm, books? (Deadlines rather). YAY YAY YAY YAY. From now I will bang through. And somebody is burning rubbish because there's this smoke smell coming in from my window but its not possible because it's raining how can there be fire when it's raining and

Downsides, I discovered the due date for my thesis is on October the 22nd. *headdesk* I'm permitted to party all night after I finish. LOL.

From the way I am writing, you can tell alot about my attention span.