Showing posts with label Inner Bitch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inner Bitch. Show all posts

Friday, August 27, 2010

Stalker

My best bud has a stalker.

If that person stalks her far enough, he'll see this.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Soulmates.

A friend asked me today, you believe in fate?

I could ramble on forever.

My reply was almost instantaneous.

I only speak for this moment in time, now. Until something in the future comes smacking me in the face to prove otherwise, I don't believe in fate.

See, I used to be a firm believer of this thing called 'fate' and all this romanticized notion of 'true-love'. And that there is only one for you and that one person is out there, and all you have to do is wait for him to appear and you will know it's him when that person sweeps you off your feet.

PLEASE LAH. =.=

Unless you think you're living in a Korean drama or a Taylor Swift music video, you can just sit on your butt and settle for someone who is your 'true-love' and credit that to fate - this invisible, all-mighty governing cupid-ish force that brings people together because you have just been systematically brainwashed by (insert age here) years of Disney, sappy love songs (and their really bullpoop music videos), the idiot box, chick flicks, valentine's day cards and romance novels like how I have been before I had my moment of epiphany.

I don't know, but i feel fate doesn't exist on its own. You need to make things happen, your fate lies in your hands and what you make out of it. You wanna call that fate, suit ya self. I call it effort. This whole notion of true love, it doesn't exist out of thin air. Whether two person are suited for each other don't depend on some stupid inscription aka Fate that the big-guy-up there has prepared from the moment of conception. It depends on what these two people are willing to do to adjust to one another in a specific amount of time (which normally, is forever, but of course not always the case for everyone). It depends on what great lengths two people are willing to go to keep the flame burning.

On this note, I'm not saying opposites cannot attract, or people who are similar will have a better chance in lovers for life. Just because Science exist it doesn't mean everything can be measured and predicted. It's more of a trial and error kind of thing. Just go for it. If it doesn't work out, heal. Let go. Try again. It doesn't mean that you've lost the love-of-your-life and your happiness is forever doomed (tchyeah easy for you to say). No seriously. If you stop believing in THE-ONE, and turn to the another-one, another-other one, it'll be a whole lot easier. Don't remain stuck in time for too long. Because age is a bitch. And by the time you realize all you've been chasing for is nothing but a mirage, it might be too late and time is also a bitch because it doesn't wait.

If fate can really bring two people together the most bizarre ways imaginable, (insert typical subway, elevator, escalator going on both opposite directions scene) and because of that it's-a-sign-that-he-is-the-one-even-if-you-don't-know-if-he-smokes-pot-and-raped-a-horse-or-something-dodgy-like-that, whooakay. o.O I'm no expert, but that ain't love man.

That's like... psycho. Or so it occured to me.

Sometimes coincidences are just coincidences, and nothing more.

No official ethnographic work done to prove whatever I said but all this theological humbug about fate and 'the-one-true-love' is crazjee.

People cheat. People fight. People get hurt. People drift apart.

Love isn't pure and simple at all.

Love needs a new definition.

Disney makes it look too fking easy.

This one-true-love thing doesn't exist. One-true-love only exist as a social construct to make sex legit to continue the human race. I'm a skeptic so sue me. I think, it is possible to feel that special connection with more than one person throughout your life. And also, society's to be blamed for people who think otherwise.

But of course, who am I to speak? The closest I've been to love is one that is unrequited.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Recipe for disaster.

There are times I have verbal diarrhea and other times I become verbally constipated. And so, politics is not for me.

Been doing Fiske, and he mentions Bourdieu. Now I really see that my initial research is flawed as hell. Kinda get why I can only come up with a proper research question after doing this. Whatever I came out with prior to that seems so narrow now.

First Honours assignment dateline drawing closer. Early April is 2 weeks away. :S

WTBFO.

Sigh.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Graduation.

I don't FEEEEEEL like a Monash graduate.

Can't get anymore personal than that.

You remember those role-playing games you play. You roll up an A4 paper and tie it with a ribbon, tie a blanket around your neck like a cape/robe. No hat but it doesn't matter. You make your walk up the stairs and proud and all, mimicking what you see on the Brands' essense of Chicken or Milo adverts. LOL.

Those were the kind of ads that romanticised the whole 'mother' tears when child graduates thing. But I don't FEEEEEEL it. Don't get me wrong, my parents are proud of me and all that. But I don't feel like this is, as far as it goes, the proudest moment of my life. That this is actually the start of something that I potentially might like, but still have no clue of.

I know part of the reason why my graduation didn't seem like anything at all I expected as a kid, is because I have class at 9.00am today. X( BOOO @ Timing. LOL. But after catching up with my friends for a while, I realized there a number of them who are already working, and a number of those who are looking for work.

I wonder, what does it feel like to be them?

For me, the ceremony yesterday felt a lot more 'real'. Of course we can question 'realness', like it's happening, at this moment, at this very second I get 5 seconds on stage to take a piece of paper I worked hard for.

As soon as took off my robe, it's symbolic in a sense that, I'm no longer an undergrad student. I'm being thrust into this whole of set of responsibilities (which I actually 'failed' to fulfill today bummer).

It's like. No more running around the house naked or in a robe with a rolled up A4 paper in your hand. You gotta get out there. And be a somebody. Not just a graduate.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Wheels.

I'm tyre changing fabulous person.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Oy Bull.

Omg. Omg. Omg. Reunion Dinner on Sat.

Remembered I need to hand in book list ASAP before CNY. WAHLAOS. *emohs*

SUPERVISOR BALIK KAMPUNG DY LA HOWW?!

*panic*

*edit: Got a reply. workaholic. - Feb 12*

All because I was

1. Busy looking for a place to stay.
2. Procrastinating.
3. Trying to finish Brilliant Legacy (2009) and Minamishineyo (2009).
4. Singapore-ing and Procrastinating even more.
5. CNY-ing
6. Baking.
7. Thinking about everything else but my thesis. lol.

I don't believe I run on a Pentium two up there but I admit. I question my brain capacity sometimes. Why oh why am I not blessed with the incredible ability to multitask and hence more on-my-toes-abit, less up-in-the-sky-somewhere.

That aside.

I DON'T FIT IN ANY OF THE CLOTHES I BOUGHT FOR NEW YEAR THIS YEAR. GARGHHH. EVERYTHING I PUT ON GIVES ME A MUFFIN TOP.

Yes, I am going to start on a CNY rant now on the eve of New Year's eve.

Every year, we go through this. And who are we kidding? There are somethings about family gatherings that pricks us once in a while. But hey, don't get me wrong. It doesn't mean I love them any less. There's just a handful. It's especially problematic for really BIG families, huge extended ones.

So, since it's 2am and I've just found 4 books to add on my book list, I am going to come out with a list of awkward CNY situations that I'm sure people can relate to. Some I speak from experience, some coz I'm observant. Heh.

Topic 1: Your weight.

Yeap. Everybody's got relatives who do that. For girls, this is possibly the most dreaded topic to ever bring up when everyone is gathered around yummy food during the reunion dinner. It's one of those topics that really kills your appetite. Even worse, if you were the one who prepared the meal.

Sure, you've had a stressful year, snacked abit in between, had a baby perhaps?, had no time for the gym or no money to sign up for one, or just plain lazy to work out because it didn't occur to you how fast a year past after someone says to you "Wah, you putting on weight ah," while you were chomping on your abalone/cookies/bakkwa halfway. Or maybe you're just naturally the way you are no matter how much you workout/eat. [This applies to petite people too, but they get the opposite 'Must eat more treatment']. And the worst, it just didn't occur to you it was going to happen again the next year if you didn't do anything about it.

This year. You meet. Something changed. Your waistline. She mentions it again. At the dinner table. All your other relatives are around. She just put you through something even worst than public execution. LOL. Your appetite gets killed so does every other organ in your body. You remind yourself to change and swallow the last bit of bakkwa and vow upon the very day itself that you will be a changed person. Some people succeed. Some people just turn to the cookies after someone offers them and the cycle repeats all over again.



Topic 2: Their kids.

In a typical Chinese family setting, I am not generalizing but all Chinese parents really do this, parents love to talk about how great their kids are. Often out of love really =) and among parents, it's the only topic in common they have to discuss about after they're done gossiping about the government/share markets/business/other relatives. Except, some parents happen to sell their children a little too well like they're a mass-produced product sold on TV it makes you feel really icky on a joyous day. But hey don't be. Just remember your parents will be selling you as well. As you grow older, you will start to realize that perfect picture painted is really just, well... a picture (one thing I learnt in my course, communicating is just a matter of perceiving. Everything that is communicated is framed in such away that tells a story for the person's perspective Nothing is the gospel truth) and how pointless it'll be to be affected by something really trivial. =)


Topic 3: Your future.

SPM leavers/Uni-graduates/Retrenched get this quite often. For people who know what to do in your life, this is the time to shine. Outdo, outwit and outlast that kaypoh relative who dissed you for not having that straight A's/scholarship/promotion that they expected you to get. You explain your plans is great-detail with great passion sparkling in your eyes.

For people who don't know what they are doing yet, the case is often harder to deal with. Especially if your relative just listed out his/her/their children's plans, it's even harder to prevent your pride from being trashed. It can be really demoralizing especially with the fakeness of the whole conversation, "Oh you'll find something to do soon" or "Do you want to work for random-business-tycoon-relative-i-know". It's already weird enough you only meet this person once a year, pretty obvious you don't feel particularly close or sometimes any connection at all to that relative.

Remember words can travel. If your family happen to be the gossipy kind, tell a white lie. "I'm thinking of..." blablabla. Just be really down to earth about it. Anything but I dunno because they'll automatically think you're bumming.

Topic 4: Your Lovelife.

Whether you're single or taken or is your marriage going well random things that you really rather not talk about. It normally starts once you hit your early 20's. By 30 it gets tiring. If they live long enough by 40, you've move on. By 50... Hm. Either way, conforming to societal pressures rarely work out. I personally think it not worth sacrificing your own happiness to gain approval from others.

Remember this is only just to create small talk. Somethings that are said, really don't matter enough to be taken seriously. Spare the grudge. Spread the love. Be tactful. Avoid touching on too sensitive issues. If they do things to tick you off just be polite to remind them about your boundaries.

It's comfort you find in your family. Not competition. Those who can't provide simply don't mean as much. =)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Mechanics.

Mechanics are awesome.

*sly*

Today I met someone I wish I hadn't. I believe people who can't get along, should never try. They should never fake it. Even if for some reason they do fake it, it takes a good deal of faking skills to not seem insincere with your body language. I am just not that kind of person who can do that. I'm very direct. It doesn't take rocket-science for people to read me. For some cases, good and for some not so. Of course, this aspect proved to be the worst for one of the most potential friendships I had in life. Lol.

But really. To be honest. There is this part of me that wished I was more forgiving as a person. But one can only tolerate this much. When lines are crossed, there is no turning back.

__________

1. Daiman's new badminton court is awesome! I super love the flooring. It beats wood any day!

2. Malaysian signage must improve. REALLY. (I got lost in Johor after I decided to detour on my way home)

3. Steamboat + Karaoke + BBQ. Omg. Loves.

4. Monopoly City is complicated but fun. HAHAHAHAHA. X)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Where are the fucking jet engines?

In school, we're cheated to believe politicians and the police are noblemen. We grow up to learn otherwise.

In the wake of the religious tensions in Kuala Lumpur, I did not expect myself to return from Australia to this. What happened to the Malaysia I know? Has it always been a beautiful picture painted? Has it always been a mirage? Can't be surely.

When my lecturer protest for fair elections and against corruption, as soon as he opens his mouth and he gets the ISA. Why don't you act the same way for these arsonists and vandals? Why suddenly so inefficient? With you politicising a religious matter that was designed to remove our attention from Altanthunya, Keris, Pendatang, to the jet engines, what are you going to do now it's spiraling out of control. From one religion to another.

I personally don't get the hype. One word, semiotics, and a nation left in unrest?

As far as I'm concerned, those engines could very well be in your pocket. Cover-up more, and Malaysia will have their very own Watergate scandal.

See. We grow up to learn other wise.

You know, it's not that pendatang don't want to leave this country. Even if I buy a one-way-ticket to China, they won't accept me la. Even if they did, my heart won't accept it la. It lies here where I come from. So STFU, do your job and give us some rights!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Nandos.

SOMETHING needs to be done. If there's this one fast food chain that needs super-sizing it is definitely Nando's.

Don't we all adore their peri peri chips? :D

I speak the opinions of many other Nando fans out there. And you guys should super duper super duper duper duper listen to my complain. Your portions are too damn small. In this part of the world, when it's cold and people are feeling grouchy from a day's work or a pile of assignments or like a math teacher is being a bitch, its not easy to recover. People of all ages really step into the comforts of your restaurant to seek comfort, to not only their growling stomachs, random cravings but it is their very souls that eventually heal.

*Camera focuses on Sze with a mid-shot, light shines on Sze*

But youuu freakking advertise like there's so much on the menu, make me pay 24 dollars for the Two's-a-Party set and only have 2 thirds of the plate filled? WHAT IS THIS?!?!?!?! ARE YOU SURE IT'S ENOUGH FOR TWO?!

Ok. Maybe I ordered wrong. But even for your quarter chicken meal... it's really... measely. I can pay 10 dollars and get a 3-piece feed, and a drink and chips and mash freaking potato, why can't you guys provide me with something more to keep me satiated when i am freaking paying 2 bucks more?!

And BTW, pouring hot peri-peri sauce on top of a normal roast doesn't make it hot. Why would I come here, if I can roast chicken at home and pour my own peri sauce that I bought off the shelves over the freaking chicken? USE SOME FREAKING PERI MARINADE OK!

I HAVE BEEN DYING FOR NANDOS SINCE FOREVER AND TODAY I STEPPED IN WITH 3 OF MY FRIENDS ONLY TO BE HEARING NOTHING BUT COMPLAINTS T________T

ok. except for the fun part of mutual chip-stealing which probably annoyed ycy to no end. hehe.

And the Dumpling plus restaurant staff at Swanston should learn how to smile. Fargtards.


_______________________


OK. Next up. PROM IS ON FRIDAY YAY!!!!
Essay number 2, starting tmr! =9

Monday, July 13, 2009

Kimchi epilogue.

I had kimchi jiggae for dinner today.

YAY.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

kimchikimchikimchi

Caulfield Korean restaurant not open. UGHHH.

Big Mama - The Kimchi Chronicals

Now when I say big Mama i don't mean


The band


There's a restaurant in Swanston which sells pretty ok Korean and Japanese food near Arrow and Verve. Yesterday, after pool, we were all geared up to go. You see the day before Alva and I watched Anthony Bourdain in Korea, so it's completely understandable why WE WANT KOREAN FOOD. So we battled the storm/crazyasswind which literally pushes you to the back when you walk forward. And then!

IT HAPPENED.

As soon as we stood at the door, the staff turned the 'open' sign over to -- We're closed so go ahead and mope and cry on your Facebook status and die in the cold, cold streets you piteous imbecile. Muahahahaha!

I feel like a gungho korean being robbed off the family's secret Kimchi recipe!

GARGH DOMODOMODOMO.

Apart from answering machines and nonresponse from people I crack jokes to, I have a new pet-peeve since coming to the city. I cannot stand walking up to a doorstep of an eatery staring blankly at the closed sign. Twice at Blok M, once in Coconut House... Based on my annoy-o-meter, this is first place, at the highest extreme in terms of how annoying it is.

Thankfully there's always 24 hours food chains, friends with a truck load of videos, boardgames, wii, PS, and Fox 8.

Side note.

I may have been too pessimistic about leaving Gippsland, where people lived close to each other and bonded because of that, to the City, where I recently found out people also do the same. (: It's the people you surround yourself with that makes it all better. With all honesty, I always thought the city was going to be a place I would never fit in. But I'm glad now that I'm here, I realized I may have been too quick to judge. In this period of time where there's so many changes taking place, no matter how small, I am adapting well.