Quite human.

Shelf.

--Saw this in FTV.

I wished I had a longer shelf life.

Long.

When you don't see certain people for too long, you get used to missing them.

To date.

Up to today, I have not met a single person who supports Malaysia's new phallus (apart from Ng Yen Yen, who obviously, works for the goverment). We've already got two, (fancy, but it's not fully occupied), so is there really a need for another? Imagine what 5 billion dollars can go to. Improving the education system for a start. Better roads and transportation, KL traffic is fucked up. One must wonder where on earth did this 5 billion come from?

Of course, the debate goes on and on. KL is already congested as it is, and it's not like we're Singapore. We have plenty of space. It's ironic how Malaysia preaches moderation, when our government it's all about excess. Money being mishandled. A complete disregard for ethics. No such thing as meritocracy. Racism prevailing spawning even more intense racial tension and segregation. We have Ibrahim Ali. This other Titiwangsa guy who SHOULD BE DETAINED UNDER ISA over what he said at the UMNO general meeting. And yet people like this continue roam and pollute minds of the people.

Malaysia has one big fragmented national discourse. I can only hope the one I belong to is more dominant than the other.

Funneh!

Hur hur hur

Babi-fied.

Something about crispy skin and grease. :)

*

OKAY. FINAL SPRINT. CAN ONE. ONE MORE CHAPTER. NOT VERY FAR AWAY. DAMN NEAR IN FACT. DAMN LA I SO FAT. AND NOTHING ELSE TO DO ON FRIDAY'S ALREADY. KUMAR IS AWESOME. CHOCOLATE OVER DOSE. COFFEE NOT ENOUGH DOSE. AHHHHHHHHHHH

KAKI.

KAKI, in Malay means leg. And then, it's also used to describe inadequacy (Kaki bangku - Leg-of-a-Stool, rationalized as Stiff legs and inability to play balls... I mean ball games). Then it can also be used to describe 'addiction' (Kaki Judi, Kaki Botol, Kaki Bola - Kaki Botol). But all in all, regardless of whether our proficiency in Malay, it is also (most commonly known and) colloquially used to describe a chum, buddy or a really close friend. Can sometime be used like this:

"My Badminton kaki-"
"My uni kaki-"
"My clubbing kaki-"
"My mamak kaki-"

I just like to illustrate how the word referenced to a body part is so versatile in the Malay Language. And the very-malaysian flavour it exudes.

One reason why they use Kaki to describe a friend I think is synonymous to the body part, your leg, which is integral to your movement. You run, you walk, you trip over it. You stand up, you jump up, climb trees, you reach incredible heights with it. You scrape your knee, you sprain your ankle, but it heals, scars may stay but the pain does not lasts forever. Your mobility depends on your legs. Being able to be mobile, being able to do things, jump, hope, dance, cycle, drive... without my kaki, I imagine my life to be very different. (PLEASE NOTE)

Quite lonely la har? :)

So you see, one of my kaki-s that I've known for the longest time is celebrating her birthday today. But I am unable to be there with her. And she is celebrating it a little later because she has got work and exams coming right up. Being an October baby myself (4 days apart yo), I emphatise. She has been there for good and for worse, every step of the way. Even when we are apart, her presence is never lost. Phone calls, random text messages, tweets, skype karaoke (?!!) and all.

BAHAHA. :D

Being apart hasn't always been the easiest for us but for all we've learnt and for all the good times we had spent together for like... the past ten thousand years, you know me inside out, see me at my best, seen me at my worst but still stuck on like any kaki would. For my inadequacies I apologize. I may not have always been like how you have been to me, but through it all I hope there were things I did right.

Shrek! Albert Ling sesat. LOL.

Thank you for your thoughtfulness, for your support, kind advices and listening ear. All in all, thank you for the friendship and love.

Paiseh lah so cheesy.

Happy 22nd Birthday Kanina! :D BAHAHAHA.

Karina Ng Li Chean is the best kaki in the world! aka currypau, currypuff, japanese curry, maggi curry, all things yummy.

Don't kill me.

Award winning concept.

Award winning smiles. :)

Happy Birthday!

Loves,

Booger. (still don't know how you came up with this =.=)

Overwhelmed.

O.O

Overwhelmed.

O.O

AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH!

WOW. WOW. WOW.

Got a really touching email from a student in my class. *collapses in tears*

This is for Ben yo!

Deal or no deal.

It was a clock that talks and tells you the time. I walked around those little fancy gift shops just walking around until I saw this.

Mine looks something like this but it's blue in colour:



It looked like a buzzer, and when you press it, it literally tells you the time. Meddling with it, I was amused to find out it was a talking clock. Thoroughly amused, I pressed it a number of times calling my friends over to come a see it. The amusement on my face, the puzzled look on theirs.

To wish, I turned to see the price tag at the back of the clock. RM 45 ringgit. After contemplating for several minutes, a) i needed an alarm clock, b) it was round and psuedo-balled shaped, c) it talks, d) i didn't think I can find it anywhere else, I decided to buy it.

This is just one of my compulsive purchases. Now it's there, lying by my bed side. It becomes an object of abuse when I'm asleep (stupid Sonia keeps pressing it to count down to midnight, in turn I do the same onto her). That fancy UFO thinggy that could easily pass off as a decorative item until somebody actually takes a closer look.

I love it to death the first day of my purchase. Or at least I loved it to death at some point of my life.

I still wonder, why is it a female voice?

This year.

I'm the happiest person alive. Even with work waiting for me to do, I am the happiest person alive.

Happy Birthday To Me.

Ring ring ring ring ring Banana Phone!

EDIT 24 October 2010.

Not for kids below 18.

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Scroll lowerrr

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It's gonna be quite funny

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I wonder if this is what my friends actually think of me.

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I had a ball nonetheless!



=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Shudder.

Forced environments. And the bitch I am.

One.

Things just happen.

Life lived with an illusion of control is life lived without meaning.

One way I justify my own self lack of control.

Had the final serious class with FTV today. The next tutorial is just going to be for housekeeping.
I don't know what to feel. It's been quite an experience since signing up for it. However, at the same time, it was also one of the only most eventful thing of my second semester.

Given a second chance, I'd do it. And I'll do it better.


*

Low.

Why get high when you can get low?

The smartest thing I thought of today.

My time with you.

Upular. Happy Three.

Pictures.

Happy Kid.

I'm a happy kid. I grew up one. I ate like one. I bummed around like one. Made friends like one. I talk like one (at least until I encounted Foucault and Marx). I drive like... Ok, maybe not so much. Malaysian drivers aiyoyo. But I accept that this happiness may not have always been from circumstances that were genuine nor always been perpetual with little glitches in life. This happiness may be a cloak to conceal something I wish to hide from people around me. At the same time, definitely some situations created to happify me may also be done out of obligation. But still it makes me happy.

It's only in recent years I realized I fail as a happy-shiny person. Quite happy, but not so shiny.

I don't conceal very well. And people who know me well can pick it up. But I am happy because I don't have a very big memory space. I can become selective of what I remember.

BAHAHAHA. THESIS DRIVING ME CRAZY NO DOUBT.

But I'm a happy kid.

Side note: Chiangmai video gonna be aired today! Whoopie!

Hall and Oates (1998)

Gyah. It's October. Old. Poke. Thesis. Uncomplete. Guilty. When. Doing. Everything. Else. ARGH.

A busy week ended with a bang.

Hairspray. Everybody needs a can. :)

Thursday.

Seapigs and stress don't go well together. But this one tries to.

Glad the week is almost over. Wouldn't say it's completely unproductive have had sometime to Unagi @ chapter two. At the same time have had Sonia for company.

There's this really numb feeling on my right forearm and wrist now. Gosh needs to improve posture.

Tomorrow's Friday. Tutorial, Seksualiti Merdeka, and Hairspray! Possibly my last busiest day of the week. Do drafting. Writing starts Saturday. :)

And I write with pictures of you in my mind. Hang in there =)

Saengil Chukahae.

Birthday Girl might like this ;) Keep dancing around. Keep up that energy. Eat lotsa sushi burger for me. LOL. Everything orange reminds me of you!!! LOL. Don't bully smoochie. :) Life is already filled with hurdles as it is glad I have a friend like you to help me through them.

OCTOBER BABIES ARE AWESOMEEEE :D

Happy Birthday Alva Huang Yan Ting aka Alvaca & Lava. :)

You must be tired on display at the Royal Melbourne Show :D :D :D :D

I DEDICATE THIS TO YOU

Inadequacy.

I would physically struggle with this. But it doesn't exist in physical form.

Today I learnt.

Not all Iranians like Khomeini.

Things I don't understand.

It is not the first time I've encountered someone from an abusive relationship. It is also not the first time I have to watch someone close to me gone through this. Whether physically or emotionally, both cause equal harm exerted through power asymmetry. But then the complication is that abuse like many other things are self definitive. Yet at the same time, sometimes I forget. I must be lucky having to not experience it for myself until today. Sometimes I forget, the constant supply of empathy is all that is needed to help such experiences. Sometime I forget that some situations can be helped in times that are short. I constantly try not to step in because when I do, I don't do it right. I just never did.

To put it metaphorically, sometimes it's like watching a plant wither while hesitating to share the water that is in your hands. Sometimes, it is like watching an injured animal, but not sure what to do to nurse it back to health. Sometimes it's like mourning for a death of someone you don't know personally. Grievance is not shared, hence you feel like anything you do is just not enough.

These are just some things I don't understand but my move to inquire does show that I someday wish to but at the same time fear. Though ultimately I try as much as I can to understand it now. Day by day as I watch this plant wither, the limped body of something that was once alive, I mourn. Even though mourning does not come close to understanding of what has become, I'd do all I can, and that is all I can do, holding onto hope that someday this too shall pass.

Destructive.

I believe love is not destructive.

Anything destructive of close to destructive is not worth that sacred title.

I detest irrationality.