Proximity and expectation.

Go fly kite.

I haven't forgotten what you taught me, Dad.

So what did you indulge in today?

Everyone has an unhealthy indulgence. While some find comfort in Chocolate, Chips, Ice Cream, and alcohol, others indulge in watching watching scale needles tip, that big bulge, that big pimple, that flat chest, that scar, those we need to cover what then do we expose?, compulsions to stare at the naked body, overkill, skyrocketing points, collapsed opponents, love, hate, loving a person who will never love us back, morbidity, work, perfection, guilt, failure, the past, hurt... no matter what people say, we indulge. We damage ourselves in some way. We don't stop. We like to do it because, no matter how unhealthy it is, we get a feeling of going against something that is already set out for us. It's satisfying. And to negate its existence, would mean a loss of compulsion to do SOMETHING, something you do best in the un-best. We lose that emotional catharsis. We lose the satisfaction. To neglect 'something' that we essentially should not. It's how we are. It reminds us we are human. It reminds us the very core of how human we are and how fucking uncontrollable these urges are but yet, we get the illusion that we are in control because we CAN refuse to control ourselves. We CAN allow ourselves to lose control. It's the only thing within our controls anyway.

So what did you indulge in today?

I'm just waiting

I'm just waiting for that day when one of them comes up to me and say. "SZE JIAA! I'm together with him!" I don't know which one will come up to me first though.

*grows beard*

Anyway, I've been blogging excessively now. And you can tell when I blog excessively it means I have work to do and blogging is the only way I get a break so yeah. I don't how this month is going to work out but I know eventually it will. *fingers crossed* Being detained under house arrest is not funny ah!!!

I need to see the sun.

Ikea Meatballs after this. I MUSTO. Omnomnoms. Been on a diet of bread, nestum and maggi. I am going to treat myself :D YAYNESS.

Suddenly.

Suddenly
Life has new meaning to me
There's beauty up above and things we never take notice of
You wake up and suddenly you're in love
-Billy Ocean.

Homeward bound.

Someone's coming homeward boundddd! YAY-ness.

How in the world did two sems just passed by like that. LOL. A bit regretful for not finishing up earlier, drats. BUT WILL MAKE TIME. Hoit! Peace out!

:)

Harloweenn.

c

zomg shanwee teehee - Taken from P10 Rosalyn's blog.

On Halloween (sunday)... I came back at 8am in the morning. Not from a party, but from a pretty intensed production project (with quite a halloween feel considering we stayed till it was dark at the 3rd level of Imbi Plaza carpark) called the 48-Hour film project. It means, you've got to plan & shoot & edit the shortfilm (7 minutes max) and include certain items as props (our team was a Golf Ball) and a character name (Danisha Mamat) and genre (Silent Film) which were all given at our starting time, 7pm Friday. I'm not a very visual person to come up with how these 7 minutes will look like, but boy did the group have theirs.

Met good people of Malaysia. Exchanged pretty interesting conversations. Spoken to a couple of other strangers while looking for the shoot location. I hate how every road in KL is one-way street and alleys are hard to find. I remember before this I was wondering lamenting to myself how art is impractical. I dread impracticality and dealing with impractical people because I've been brought up to do things the most practical way possible.

BUT

I guess after seeing the process of making this, art is supposed to be impractical. To some extent, it's true. Will never see a film/tv production the same anymore.

Definitely wanna have a belated Halloween-ish party after Honours.

Minor bouts of tears and verbal diarrhea streaming in. Yes.

But 29 more days of Hanging.

And its the end of the semester.

Doubt and worry kicks in.

The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes. –Andre Gide

Quite human.

Shelf.

--Saw this in FTV.

I wished I had a longer shelf life.

Long.

When you don't see certain people for too long, you get used to missing them.

To date.

Up to today, I have not met a single person who supports Malaysia's new phallus (apart from Ng Yen Yen, who obviously, works for the goverment). We've already got two, (fancy, but it's not fully occupied), so is there really a need for another? Imagine what 5 billion dollars can go to. Improving the education system for a start. Better roads and transportation, KL traffic is fucked up. One must wonder where on earth did this 5 billion come from?

Of course, the debate goes on and on. KL is already congested as it is, and it's not like we're Singapore. We have plenty of space. It's ironic how Malaysia preaches moderation, when our government it's all about excess. Money being mishandled. A complete disregard for ethics. No such thing as meritocracy. Racism prevailing spawning even more intense racial tension and segregation. We have Ibrahim Ali. This other Titiwangsa guy who SHOULD BE DETAINED UNDER ISA over what he said at the UMNO general meeting. And yet people like this continue roam and pollute minds of the people.

Malaysia has one big fragmented national discourse. I can only hope the one I belong to is more dominant than the other.

Funneh!

Hur hur hur

Babi-fied.

Something about crispy skin and grease. :)

*

OKAY. FINAL SPRINT. CAN ONE. ONE MORE CHAPTER. NOT VERY FAR AWAY. DAMN NEAR IN FACT. DAMN LA I SO FAT. AND NOTHING ELSE TO DO ON FRIDAY'S ALREADY. KUMAR IS AWESOME. CHOCOLATE OVER DOSE. COFFEE NOT ENOUGH DOSE. AHHHHHHHHHHH

KAKI.

KAKI, in Malay means leg. And then, it's also used to describe inadequacy (Kaki bangku - Leg-of-a-Stool, rationalized as Stiff legs and inability to play balls... I mean ball games). Then it can also be used to describe 'addiction' (Kaki Judi, Kaki Botol, Kaki Bola - Kaki Botol). But all in all, regardless of whether our proficiency in Malay, it is also (most commonly known and) colloquially used to describe a chum, buddy or a really close friend. Can sometime be used like this:

"My Badminton kaki-"
"My uni kaki-"
"My clubbing kaki-"
"My mamak kaki-"

I just like to illustrate how the word referenced to a body part is so versatile in the Malay Language. And the very-malaysian flavour it exudes.

One reason why they use Kaki to describe a friend I think is synonymous to the body part, your leg, which is integral to your movement. You run, you walk, you trip over it. You stand up, you jump up, climb trees, you reach incredible heights with it. You scrape your knee, you sprain your ankle, but it heals, scars may stay but the pain does not lasts forever. Your mobility depends on your legs. Being able to be mobile, being able to do things, jump, hope, dance, cycle, drive... without my kaki, I imagine my life to be very different. (PLEASE NOTE)

Quite lonely la har? :)

So you see, one of my kaki-s that I've known for the longest time is celebrating her birthday today. But I am unable to be there with her. And she is celebrating it a little later because she has got work and exams coming right up. Being an October baby myself (4 days apart yo), I emphatise. She has been there for good and for worse, every step of the way. Even when we are apart, her presence is never lost. Phone calls, random text messages, tweets, skype karaoke (?!!) and all.

BAHAHA. :D

Being apart hasn't always been the easiest for us but for all we've learnt and for all the good times we had spent together for like... the past ten thousand years, you know me inside out, see me at my best, seen me at my worst but still stuck on like any kaki would. For my inadequacies I apologize. I may not have always been like how you have been to me, but through it all I hope there were things I did right.

Shrek! Albert Ling sesat. LOL.

Thank you for your thoughtfulness, for your support, kind advices and listening ear. All in all, thank you for the friendship and love.

Paiseh lah so cheesy.

Happy 22nd Birthday Kanina! :D BAHAHAHA.

Karina Ng Li Chean is the best kaki in the world! aka currypau, currypuff, japanese curry, maggi curry, all things yummy.

Don't kill me.

Award winning concept.

Award winning smiles. :)

Happy Birthday!

Loves,

Booger. (still don't know how you came up with this =.=)

Overwhelmed.

O.O

Overwhelmed.

O.O

AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH!

WOW. WOW. WOW.

Got a really touching email from a student in my class. *collapses in tears*

This is for Ben yo!

Deal or no deal.

It was a clock that talks and tells you the time. I walked around those little fancy gift shops just walking around until I saw this.

Mine looks something like this but it's blue in colour:



It looked like a buzzer, and when you press it, it literally tells you the time. Meddling with it, I was amused to find out it was a talking clock. Thoroughly amused, I pressed it a number of times calling my friends over to come a see it. The amusement on my face, the puzzled look on theirs.

To wish, I turned to see the price tag at the back of the clock. RM 45 ringgit. After contemplating for several minutes, a) i needed an alarm clock, b) it was round and psuedo-balled shaped, c) it talks, d) i didn't think I can find it anywhere else, I decided to buy it.

This is just one of my compulsive purchases. Now it's there, lying by my bed side. It becomes an object of abuse when I'm asleep (stupid Sonia keeps pressing it to count down to midnight, in turn I do the same onto her). That fancy UFO thinggy that could easily pass off as a decorative item until somebody actually takes a closer look.

I love it to death the first day of my purchase. Or at least I loved it to death at some point of my life.

I still wonder, why is it a female voice?

This year.

I'm the happiest person alive. Even with work waiting for me to do, I am the happiest person alive.