Fake.

Let's face it, half of the conversations you have on facebook in a day are meaningless. If not meaningless, it's less meaningful than having a conversation in real life. Do you know the how it feels the in-person-ness in conversations? It's like the excitement, the direct response, the emotional build-up, everything comes one shot like a complicated gush of exhilarating complex mix of feelings that flows in your veins and stimulates your brain and make you feel like your medula-oblongata is about to burst. Those chat programs and social networking sites? It's just not the same. It's fake. The problem is beyond semiotics here. The ultimate fake and yet sooooo many people fall for the fakeness of it and get hurt by the fakeness of it believing it's the truth.

Me being one of them right now because it seems like the most real thing to me. The closest I can get to these people in the midst of everything. Something of comfort. Something that I can do to remind people that I still exist. Something that I can do to feel a little bit of love being so far apart. Something like what a jilted lover would do onto that lover that she still can't forget.

I have never never missed anything so badly before in my life. I always kept important things close. I somehow, probably lucky or somewhat blessed, always had people around me. In my darkest bleakest times to my happiest times to my drunk times. But this year, I have probably the longest list of people that I miss and also action I'm missing out on... ><

*

I believe in justice. I believe in this big fat word call Karma. Fk this, I believe in a lot of shit but I know this two prevails. In my government it fking doesn't but I know elsewhere it will. It does. It's been too long collecting all the bad karma and keep it from spilling. When I wake up in the morning, I can wake up with something new in my head.

We get that. That one person who appears and screws around and manipulate people's lives for their own selfish whims and fancies. I got mine. Have you?